Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Beth's InsaneJournal:

Monday, January 25th, 2010
11:22 pm	Charlie 02 [Hexed against Altair] So Phin stopped by earlier this evening and needless to say I had to wonder why he came over initially but after hearing the news and everything...I'm still in a bit of shock by it all but it's all the more incentive to get rid of the bastard and the sooner the better because knowing Kaity, she won't quit her job and if that bastard touches one hair on her head. Especially now, I'll make sure he regrets it. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
12:27 pm	Wes 002 So, I have a feeling that the match between Trudy and Alexander was probably one of the things my ex wife was successful at since the two of them seem to be rather compatible especially given the obvious chemistry between the two of them. And they must have enjoyed touring Primrose as well, though something tells me that they didn't get too far what with the rumpled clothes and everything. But I don't think a spider was to blame for all this. And I'm rather certain they'll be happy together since they remind me of Isla and myself. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
8:34 am	Flora - 05 Robert Jugson. My former intended's name which I forced myself to forget for three years has resurfaced effective yesterday morning and it hasn't gone away. He keeps taunting me saying I'm not good enough as a future wife and that I won't live up to Mr Meadowes Alister's expectations and that I'll fail. He won't leave me alone. I just want him to stop. Why did he have to be vocal now? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
8:42 pm	Phineas - 01 So the dinner yesterday was rather interesting to say the least, especially considering that I had expected it to be me and Prudence, along with Charlie and Kait, Mr and Mrs Yaxley along with possibly Alister as a mediator. Apparently, I was wrong; the whole Yaxley family seemed to be there save for Alex and his wife, which was quite the surprise to say the least. But I took it in stride. Something I wasn't expecting though was the row between Mr Yaxley and Mr Selwyn was rather unexpected to say the least. Both of them got boisterous enough to the point where Isla had to hex them. But besides that and the rather thorough interrogation by Mr Yaxley, everything seem to go rather well. Don't know if I'd want to attend another one of their dinners if that's the was they always go but that's just me. [Prudence] Dearest, I could not help but notice the looks that certain people in your family were giving Kaity and I. I must inquire if that is because they are concerned about you or if they have let their prejudices get in their way of making a judgment of me simply because I am a black. But no matter what the case, I'd do whatever I could to win your family's approval if that is what you wanted. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 29th, 2009
11:30 pm	Flora - 04 [Private to Alister] I find myself reading over the words that you wrote in regards to what happened with my past and I do find myself appreciating every single word that you wrote part of me initially found myself reluctant to accept just that because of what happened and it was that which made me respond the way I did. And while I know that you would remain true to the words you said, I still feared that my heart would ultimately be broken and I wished not to tell you the feelings that I had or to give into them because of that fear. But given what Prue and Isla have done along with reading over your words, I do wish to tell you and I have no regrets about it. I've been falling in love with you, though I never allowed myself to admit that until earlier today. I'm actually uncertain as to how long I've felt way, especially considering that I fancied you while we were in school but I never thought that anything would come of it, so I never enacted upon it. But still, I have never seen anybody so determined and willing to help me work past my fears and doubts and insecurities. Plus, you always seem to make me smile and laugh, which has been quite the rarity. Which brings me to the point in question. I know that we are betrothed and to be wed in a little more than a month, but somehow the engagement feels too long for me now that I am being honest. I wish to be wed much sooner than that and even eloping has crossed my mind once or twice. I really do not see myself wanting to plan out a wedding, a ceremony, and everything that goes along with it. I did it the first time around when I was engaged to my former intended and somehow I feel as if I try to do it again, it will be only because I felt obligated to and not because it was something that I wanted to do. And besides, all I want out of it is the fact that I will be spending my life with someone whom I care deeply for and I don't know if I could make myself wait much longer for that. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
4:56 pm	Millicent - 02 [Private to Carlton] I found a note on Prudence's bed earlier one that said that she ran off and decided to marry a starving artist. A Black nonetheless and I know what we both think of them, but instead of entertaining the thought of disowning our youngest daughter so quickly take into consideration that he may already be disowned from his own family considering what his first name is and the fact that he is a starving artist. But before we do anything so rashly and buy a headstone, talk to Prudence first and hear her out. I'll see if I can have Cygnus talk to her as well. [Private to Children (including Emily and excluding Prue)] I shall be brief in my words but if anyone finds themselves talking to Prudence, whether it is via the journals or not, do let me know. Fact of the matter is she packed up her belongings and eloped earlier. It is quite the ordeal to explain but I ensure you that your father and I are trying to get in contact with her as well. [Private to Cygnus (yes, she's that serious about it)] I wish for you to go and talk to your sister, whether it is via the journals or in person, it is your choice. I think you would be the best candidate for this position considering that you have Black blood in your lineage so maybe she and her husband will relate to what you have to say more effectively than me. The name she left us was Phineas, so I am assuming he may be of some relation to the old Phineas Black, but this is just an assumption that I hope is true since Carlton if I know him well enough will not be too fond since Prudence has decided to marry a Black, but I am going to try all that I can to ensure that she doesn't get disowned. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 23rd, 2009
4:52 pm	Charlie - 01 [Private to Family, save for Flora] I've heard the rumours circulating about and I have to wonder if they are just that or if it is the truth. But the fact that Flora could be seeing the goblin king does merit some answers, especially considering what she has gone through and everything although maybe she is starting to move on and if she's happy seeing him...well, then I'm going to be happy for her and I think she needs someone like Ali in her life to help her heal and everything. But that's just my opinion. [/Private] I have grown rather fond of the nightly strolls I have been taking as of late, they seem to help me clear my mind when it is needed and allow me to see a whole different side of London that I haven't seen before until recently. Besides, I rather enjoy the social nightlife and I am rather keen to learn more about it when I can. (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 20th, 2009
8:52 am	Flora - 03 [Private to Self, can be broken though] So Mr Meadowes, I mean, Alister took me out for lunch yesterday and needless to say it was rather pleasant. We conversed and talked about things and as I have said he is quite the gentleman and I am rather fond of him as a friend, but I cannot help to shake the feeling that there are more to these meetings than simply friendship. I know most of the world has a skewed perspective on the definition of dating and while Mr Meadowes and I have been on at least two of these alleged dates for the sole purpose of getting to know one better and while dating in my mind is just friendly outings, part of me thinks it may lead to courting. It's been three years since I last did that. Courting. And I know how it ended up, I still remember that night all too well. I even have nightmares at times because of it. I do not wish to court again out of fear that it will end up the same way. What if he hurts me or decides to break my heart or what if I am not good enough for Mr Meadowes and he wishes for me to be submissive? I do not know if I could handle going through it again. I do not want to go through it again. I do not want for my heart to be broken or even put out on the line so I can risk it, because if I do...then I will regret it and my heart will be broken, but maybe realizing this is for the best. [Private to Father] Father, do you have a moment to spare in order to answer a question that is on my mind? (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 19th, 2009
10:47 pm	Wesley - 01 [Private to Isla] Your father knows that I am responsible for what happened since I have told him that we were together and you were carrying our child and now I am forced with the option of going into hiding or talking to him and risk my life for the two people I hold dearest to me. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
4:05 pm	Flora - 02 [Private to Mr. A. Meadowes] I apologize for writing to you in such a way over the journals but given events that have occurred within the family earlier today our lunch date will have to be postponed. My deepest apologies once again. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:41 pm	Millicent - 01 [Private to self, Carlton can read] Isla's news took me harder than I thought, not the fact that she's with child, mind you. But the fact that it seems similar to what I went through all these years ago. I never wanted to have to worry about that again, especially the fact that what she seems to be going through is similar to what I did with Alexander. I cannot help but fear that Isla will go through what I did with Druella and I am certain that Carlton wishes him to be dead. I still cannot figure out what to tell her or how I can be there for her. I just don't want her to experience what I did. And it makes me feel as if I am a failure as a mother, which I know I am not, but right now Isla needs me. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:40 am	Flora - 01 I know that this has been said numerous times but the wedding was ravishing and I am happy to see my brother be wed to a person that he truly cares for on such a deep level. Emily will be a great addition to our family and I am greatly looking forward to seeing the next wedding as well. [Private to Isla] Father said yesterday that something seemed to be amiss with you and asked me if I knew what it was. I told him, no, but I would inquire about it later. I figured that you should be forewarned about it though. [/Private] [Private to Self - We know who can break it] Father did bring up a valid point yesterday, the fact that it has been three years and still I have not moved on after that one ordeal. Yes, I have tried dating, but I never feel comfortable when it comes to that and it is safe to assume that I would never move on. Although Mr Meadowes seems to have disproven that a little bit. He is quite the gentleman, chivalrous, and I cannot help but find myself being drawn to him. He was such good company at the wedding and father seemed to noticed that I was in a better mood than I normally am. Despite that however, I do not wish to remain optimistic about this. Sure he is close friends with Isla and Alexander, but I still have my fears that if I allow myself to fall in love again then it will end up the same way as last time. The words still hurt as much as they did when I was first told them and I wish not to subject myself to it again. Maybe this lunch date will result in a new friend, if anything. Maybe something more, but for right now, I wish to entertain nothing more than just friendship. (9 Comments |Comment on this)